faq

  1. Have you ever danced naked for money?
    No.
  2. What’s that thing in the corner of the room?
    It’s an elephant, and I’ve already told you I don’t like talking about it.
  3. Is it true what they say about Japanese girls?
    That if you stand them on their heads and spin them round very quickly, their shoes fly off? Yes.
  4. If you were involved in a horrific accident and ended up a vegetable, which vegetable would you most like to be?
    Celeriac.
  5. Are any of these questions going to have useful answers?
    Apparently if you add a teaspoon of oil to the water when cooking pasta, it stops it sticking.
  6. If you could give only one piece of advice to people thinking of starting their own independent magazine or record label, how many words would you use?
    Twelve.
  7. What’s the best piece of advice you can give to people thinking of starting their own independent magazine or record label?
    Never leave small babies alone in fields where combine harvesters are working.
  8. Just going back to the pasta thing, does that really work?
    I don’t know. My gut feeling is that stirring it every so often works just as well.
  9. OK, thanks.
    That’s not a question.
  10. Sorry. OK?
    Yup, no problem.