Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category


Oh, shush. Look, the thing is, there are only twenty-four hours in the day – yet another thing for which we must blame the Ancient Babylonians, I believe, along with brazen promiscuity and hanging baskets – and everything I’ve written lately has ended up on my other blog, Beware of the Trees, because… well, although […]

Pinched between narrow streets whose medieval awkwardness makes it difficult to stand back and frame a photo, the Nikolaikirche, Leipzig’s oldest church, is outwardly pleasing but plain. So to step through the small west door from Nikolaistrasse’s crowded pavement is to suffer a sudden dislocation of the senses, for instead of being filled with gothic […]

People often want to ask me why there’s no “comment” box at the bottom of these pieces. The polite answer is that I assumed you all had much better things to do with your time. It didn’t occur to me that anyone would be reading all the way to the bottom. And the sensible answer […]

or Twenty Top Tips for Tourists 1. I know everyone in Prague speaks English, but why not at least try learning the Czech words for “hello”, “goodbye”, “yes”, “no”, “please” “thank you” and “two Pilsners please, my little Bohemian chum”? Otherwise, I’ll spend all week with no beer, because the Czech word for “yes” is […]

Well, this is bloody annoying. You see, there is actually a decent reason for the long gap between posts this time – of which more anon – and I’d decided to get back into the swing with a nice little bit of gentle mockery of the Guardian, because… well, why not? And I had the […]

Individually, and out of their natural habitat, anarchists are mostly benign. Obviously I wouldn’t let one hand out the scissors or watch over a milk saucepan, and they tend to get confused and sulky when asked to explain how allowing people in Edgware and people in Morden to individually construct their own ethical systems free […]

So, after thirteen years at the mercy of Lambeth Council, I suddenly find myself dropping down the postcodes, from SE11 to SE10. Or, as Emma the Estate Agent always liked to say, “Greenwich”. “Greenwich?” friends exclaim when they come round to have a nose, “Greenwich?!?? How can someone like you, with your failed record label […]

We will laugh the day that Thatcher dies Even though we know it’s not right We will dance and sing all night I went to see comedian Chris Addison a few weeks ago – at the Bloomsbury Theatre, I didn’t just pop round his house for a bit of advice about damp-proofing – and, although […]

Those of you with a decent grasp of chronology and a basic working knowledge of the Western calendrical system might be tempted to point out that since this blog was last updated the moon has orbited the Earth more times than can be counted on the fingers of five mittens. Hmm. Well, yes. And I […]